girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
this just has baby written all over it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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