quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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