you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
