question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
