You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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