I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
