Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
