i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
