the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he thought i was a dude.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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