I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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