What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
