Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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