i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We left the knife in your bed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
