i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
