thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
