i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
