No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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