I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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