I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize