Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
