I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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