toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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