Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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