So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
