Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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