Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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