I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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