do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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