census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
