roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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