just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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