It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
