i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
COCAINE IS GR8
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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