are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
