there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
