Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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