with your own penis?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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