I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
