You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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