Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
