they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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