but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
