I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
