we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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