He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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