im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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