Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I haven't been this sober since birth.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
