If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
