Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
