he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
