shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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