girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize