After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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