All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
