and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
