The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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