what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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