oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
try to milk me bitch
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