Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
