Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
