I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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