I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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