Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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